A long time waiting

I stopped writing on here. A long time ago.

I was ill one day at work, which shows how long ago it actually was – and wrote a rant about how ill I was feeling. Boss saw it and wasn’t particularly pleased, so for a fair while I felt that I really couldn’t write here for fear of what the repercussions would be.

Of course I’m not working now and so things are different in that regard. No hard feelings either mate, if you happen to read this.

So maybe I’ll post a few thoughts here once again. Or maybe this is a one off. We’ll see I guess.

Days like these

I am at work.

I don’t want to be. I feel sick and my shoulder hurts – but I can’t afford to lose the wages.

I have to stick out 6 more hours. Telling myself I can manage that, though all I want to do is go home and go to bed.

Metal bashers across the back are playing some horrendous thumpthump music at maximum volume and that is adding to my misery.  Also, I think my fentanyl patch is running on fumes even though it should have another 8-9 hours in it.

Summary, I feel especially shit in almost all possible ways.

 

For the betterment of the human race.

Started playing Ingress to try to get out a bit and get a modicum of exercise. I am a level 2 agent.

Holmewood now belongs to me, with a field all the way up to Sticker Lane, even if I did have to use my link amp to get it to connect.

At lunchtime, it’s time for Batley. I am going to splat the blue portal at the , that will be fun, then tie up all the other easily accessible portals into a lovely green field.

I get the impression neither of these areas are well frequented, so if I can just keep them maintained, I might be able to farm the shit out of them – which would be nice.

My GP surgery sucks

All they had to do was organise one injection. How hard is that?

Instead, fuck knows when I will get it, I’m sposed to be seeing my consultant next week – I swear to God he is the only one who actually gets the urgency of my situation. Meanwhile everyone else is fucking plodding along like fuck all matter.

I need this bastard injection to prove (or disprove) the usefulness of steroid treatment for my sarcoid. It’s completely ridiculous. I will now I guess have to rebook my appointment to see consultant and who knows how long it will be to get to see him now? I guess if I speak direct to his secretary I may well get more joy.

Feeling really messed about and poorly done by.

Inspector

Chap is coming from the estate agent’s to make sure I’ve not trashed the place. The amount of cleaning I can be arsed to do is becoming less and less as the minutes tick by.

Well, he’s here to assess damage isn’t he? Not dirt. Fuck him 🙂

Get on with it!

You know, these days, the more PUGs in my group, the more content I get done – by which I mean instances and such. I can happily duo quest with any of the guys and it’s quick enough.

BUT

As soon as we try to do something 5-man or whatever, it’s constant interruptions. They all take turns to need 10 mins here and 10 mins there and by the time we are done a 20-30 minute dungeon takes 1.5 hours and I could have done like 3 with a pile of pugs.

I love playing with my friends but fuck me it tries my patience to the uttermost limit of my endurance sometimes.

As I write this, I am of course waiting. At the last boss. Which is a 5 min fight. Basically Richard has been mistyping his password over and over and when he copies and pastes it suddenly it works. *grumble*

Closer and closer

Steam pops up, as it does, with all of the pretty shiny things it’s advertising.

Not that I wanted any of them, but it made me think of games I might want and how as time passes I won’t be able to afford stuff like that any more, nor upgrades/repairs for my PC when they are needed.

I’m a gamer, I’ve always been a gamer and over the next year or so, I can only see that part of my life being eaten away, leaving a very large hole.

3 months and counting.

The form for my PIP application landed yesterday. I’ve flicked through it, but I can’t face it at this moment. The world is being all kinds of dark and miserable right now – so dealing with my shit is difficult. Hopefully soon, any of the friends who I am supposed to be doing stuff with today will show up and I can get on with that stuff, which will help distract me.

Coriolis

I suppose it was too much to ask that on day one of the Elite: Dangerous Premium Beta I would have a good gaming experience with it. I think I’ll leave it a couple of days now.

I did manage to get into the space station (the old fashioned rotating one) but couldn’t find reverse so struggled with the landing pad. Once I’d realised how to get my spaceship into reverse gear, the servers started playing up so I still couldn’t really land or do anything good.

Never mind though, it’ll get there.

I’d post this to FB, but some cunt would end up sneering about beta programs and such and frankly I can’t be fucked with it. I’ll enjoy my game in good time and don’t really want to listen to the nay sayers any more.

Still here

One thing that really annoys me about being online (and you know who the fuck you are) is when we are chatting on Teamspeak about whatever and then something shiny appears and distracts you.

If I was in the room you wouldn’t just turn away mid conversation and start talking to somebody else. Or.. I dunno maybe you would. Either way, it’s rude and ignorant. You can’t say “excuse me” or “one moment”. No, you just fuck off and start another conversation with someone else passing by.

When you do return to teamspeak, you’ve inevitably lost interest in whatever it was we were talking about and if I want to make my point, I have to start all over again – not that you generally want to hear it anyway.

What this says to me is that your conversations with me are of little value. It suggests I don’t really exist in your world, other things are way more important than whatever I might have to say, even if I’m answering a question you asked me in the first place.

Just because you can’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not there. That’s part of the point of why we use voice comms so much, it’s to make it that much more personal and friendly.

If you’re not interested in what I’m saying, tell me and I can save my fucking breath. Seriously.

Oh and don’t sigh at me because I get annoyed when you do this.

Transfer

Yeah, transferring the crap hospital posts from FB over to here is pretty tedious, but really it wants doing. I mean hell, that’s some of my best shit for being a WRITER. Fuck knows. it’s pretty depressing reading to be honest, going back and seeing me all happy and excited at the start, slowing sinking downwards to where I am now.

There’s nothing exciting about this.